The last few months have been incredible in their lack of physical pain. It's like magic. No cramps, no 'tummy troubles,' nothing. I feel so good it's almost scary. Looking back, I wonder how I ever put up with so much pain for so long.
My hot flashes have subsided. I still get one now and then, but I've stopped having them relentlessly throughout the day. I can sleep through the night most nights. The emotional fluctuations are still present, but I'm doing my best to manage them.
The weight gain is a huge problem. Pun intended.
When I started the BatShots, I weighed about 173. That was already too high for me; I wanted to lose at least ten pounds from that point. I knew that weight gain was a potential side effect of the BatShots, but I hoped fervently that it would pass me by.
Over the last few weeks, my clothes have gotten tighter. My face is getting rounder. I hate it. I bought two new T-shirts that don't fit and I refuse to send them back because I should fit into a Large. This is my rationale. Or should I say my irrationale.
This morning I stepped onto the scale, reluctantly, half-squinting. I now weigh 185.
I haven't drastically changed my eating habits. I walk to school most days. This summer has been emotionally draining, and school is making me stressed, but surely not 12 pounds of stress.
Food is just so goddamned delicious. I'm working ridiculous hours every day trying to meet my various obligations and I hate the thought of committing even more time to working out. But I can't stay at this weight. I'm full of so much self-loathing and I know it's not healthy.
I must have some energy in the reserves. Time to call it in.
