I felt like blogging tonight because I have a trip tomorrow--I'm going to the Calgary Comic Expo. We'll be waking up early tomorrow and as I prepared for bed, I thought about taking an herbal sleep supplement to make sure I get a good rest. I haven't taken sleep aids in a while. As I went to get the bottle, I remembered how last February we took a different trip, to Mexico. Puerto Vallarta. I brought Buscopan, Advil, and Nytol with me. At night I slept propped up on pillows and needed the Nytol to (hopefully) sleep through the back pain that would come intermittently. The last night of our trip I skipped dinner with friends because my endomees were acting up.
I don't know how long this phase will last, but I'm so grateful. So glad I can be going to bed with nothing but a little valerian to help me sleep through a fuzzy cat butt on my face. Glad I'll be leaving in the morning with nothing stronger in my medicine bag than Claritin in case my allergies act up. The freedom of not worrying where I'll stop to use the bathroom along the 4 hour drive is immeasurable. I wanted to jot down the happiness of these small moments as they come.
April 26, 2013
March 7, 2013
The News Is In, and It's Good!
Apologies for not getting this up much earlier. The new semester has been unkind to me in its emotional and mental toll. Also I wanted to talk to close friends and family before posting about my test results.
I'll get right to the good stuff. At my doctor's appointment last month we compared my latest ultrasound to the one taken in June, 2012. My June ultrasound showed a large mass (3.5 cm) on my right side (it's been there for a long time, but is not painful). On my left, where my remaining ovary is, the technician reported a "complex mass" of "numerous" cysts. Yeah, couldn't even get an exact count. The largest cyst in this mass was 3.8 cm, which is pretty enormous.
My ultrasound taken last month showed that the right-side mass is completely unchanged. On my left side, however, I only have two (TWO!) cysts, and the largest is 1.2 cm.
I'm so utterly relieved. I almost can't even explain why I'm so relieved, except to say that the worst result for me wouldn't be "no change." I was afraid of hearing there had been "some reduction" or a "slight change"--something miniscule and ephemeral, something that left me in limbo. Had it been the treatment, or something else? Was it worth doing over again? What other options were there?
Instead I got definitive, and that's a great feeling. Does this mean I'll be pain free forever? Well, no. The link between growths and pain is tenuous at best. And it's possible my endomees will grow right back. I'm hopeful, though, that this treatment has bought me some pain-free time. I've been off the Lupron since January and I'm still feeling good.
The biggest side effects have been the weight gain (I just started a new exercise program--go me!) and knee pain, but those are minor given how good I feel.
The next step is following up with my surgeon and then back to the ol' "monitor and adapt."
Still. Hope.
I'll get right to the good stuff. At my doctor's appointment last month we compared my latest ultrasound to the one taken in June, 2012. My June ultrasound showed a large mass (3.5 cm) on my right side (it's been there for a long time, but is not painful). On my left, where my remaining ovary is, the technician reported a "complex mass" of "numerous" cysts. Yeah, couldn't even get an exact count. The largest cyst in this mass was 3.8 cm, which is pretty enormous.
My ultrasound taken last month showed that the right-side mass is completely unchanged. On my left side, however, I only have two (TWO!) cysts, and the largest is 1.2 cm.
I'm so utterly relieved. I almost can't even explain why I'm so relieved, except to say that the worst result for me wouldn't be "no change." I was afraid of hearing there had been "some reduction" or a "slight change"--something miniscule and ephemeral, something that left me in limbo. Had it been the treatment, or something else? Was it worth doing over again? What other options were there?
Instead I got definitive, and that's a great feeling. Does this mean I'll be pain free forever? Well, no. The link between growths and pain is tenuous at best. And it's possible my endomees will grow right back. I'm hopeful, though, that this treatment has bought me some pain-free time. I've been off the Lupron since January and I'm still feeling good.
The biggest side effects have been the weight gain (I just started a new exercise program--go me!) and knee pain, but those are minor given how good I feel.
The next step is following up with my surgeon and then back to the ol' "monitor and adapt."
Still. Hope.
January 29, 2013
Waiting for News
I haven't blogged much over the last four months, mainly because I've felt so good. My buttjections, as J calls them, have helped me tremendously. The side effects were unpleasant, but not intolerable, and the benefits far outweighed the costs.
Now, though, my treatment course is over. Last Thursday I went in for a follow up ultrasound. I was nervous, but I knew they wouldn't tell me anything at the imaging centre (I peeked at the machine when the technician was out of the room, but all I cold see was grey blobby static. I guess that's why you need training). I have an appointment next week with my doctor to go over the results.
Today I got a call from the doctor's office to tell me the images were in. "Dr. G asked me to tell you that the cyst on your right is the same size, and the ones on the left have shrunk," the receptionist said. "Oh, good," I remember replying. But inside, all I could think was, "What does that mean???"
The cyst on my right is the big one. I'm glad there has been some reduction on the left, but I realize now that I was subconsciously expecting this to be a miracle cure. That I'd go into the office and my doctor would say, "Good news! All the endomees are gone and you'll be pain free forever!" I'm trying not to panic but I can't help feeling anxious. What if the reduction is negligible? What if I go right back to the way I was?
I'll know more on Wednesday and will blog then. Until then I'll just keep my fingers crossed and keep taking my indole-3-carbinol.
Now, though, my treatment course is over. Last Thursday I went in for a follow up ultrasound. I was nervous, but I knew they wouldn't tell me anything at the imaging centre (I peeked at the machine when the technician was out of the room, but all I cold see was grey blobby static. I guess that's why you need training). I have an appointment next week with my doctor to go over the results.
Today I got a call from the doctor's office to tell me the images were in. "Dr. G asked me to tell you that the cyst on your right is the same size, and the ones on the left have shrunk," the receptionist said. "Oh, good," I remember replying. But inside, all I could think was, "What does that mean???"
The cyst on my right is the big one. I'm glad there has been some reduction on the left, but I realize now that I was subconsciously expecting this to be a miracle cure. That I'd go into the office and my doctor would say, "Good news! All the endomees are gone and you'll be pain free forever!" I'm trying not to panic but I can't help feeling anxious. What if the reduction is negligible? What if I go right back to the way I was?
I'll know more on Wednesday and will blog then. Until then I'll just keep my fingers crossed and keep taking my indole-3-carbinol.
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